# Navigating the First 90 Days After Divorce
Chad O'Malley shares insights on healing and rebuilding.
What do you do in the first 90 days after everything falls apart? This question lies at the heart of our new series, *Chaos After Divorce*. In this issue, we welcome Chad O'Malley, an author and coach who's not only rebuilding his own life but also helping other men navigate the tumultuous waters of divorce.
The Journey Begins
Chad shares his personal story of hearing the words *"I want a divorce"* after a nineteen-year marriage. He reflects on the shock and emotional turmoil that followed, a common experience for many men. "I was so emotionally overwhelmed. I didn’t even know who that guy was," Chad admits. This raw honesty sets the stage for his mission: to document his journey to healing and provide a roadmap for others.
Three Pillars of Recovery
Chad's approach is built on three essential pillars: **Surrender, Partner, and Release**.
1. **Surrender**: This involves giving your pain to God, acknowledging that you are not alone in your struggles. "When we can release that shame and guilt to Him, there’s power in that," Chad explains. By surrendering, you allow God's light to shine through you, which is crucial for your children and those around you.
2. **Partner**: Building a support system is vital. Chad emphasizes the importance of having friends, family, or spiritual mentors to lean on during this difficult time. "My sister was my emotional steadiness. When my emotions were lying to me, she centered me," he recalls.
3. **Release**: Finally, Chad talks about the importance of forgiveness. This means forgiving yourself and letting go of resentment towards your ex-partner. "That forgiveness isn’t for them; it’s for you," he reminds us, underscoring the necessity of releasing burdens to move forward.
Facing the Struggles
The first 90 days post-divorce can feel like a spiritual battle. Chad notes, "This isn’t about flesh and blood. This is about spiritual warfare." Men often face the lie that they must do it alone, but reaching out for help is a strength, not a weakness.
Take Action
For those currently navigating this journey, Chad offers a powerful reminder: "You’re not alone. There are people out there who have been through it." He encourages men to connect with support groups or trusted friends who can help them along the way.
As you reflect on these insights, consider what action steps you can take this week. Whether it’s reaching out to a friend or joining a men’s group, taking that first step can be a pivotal moment in your healing journey.
For more on Chad's journey and practical advice, listen to the full episode.
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