What Your Kids See

speaker-0: Take a second and think about the man you were the day the papers came, the weight you were carrying, the questions you couldn't answer. And now think about where you're standing today. You're still here, you're still in the fight, and brother, that's not nothing. Thanks for tuning in to Rooted in Christ. Men after divorce. Divorce rarely gets talked about in the church, but we open up the conversation for Christian men seeking healing. Strength and a renewed war with God. Each episode we focus on spiritual life, mental health, emotional recovery, physical wellness, financial stability, and your future. Stay rooted, rise strong, divorce is you. That's everything.

speaker-1: Yeah. Welcome back to Rooted in Christ, Men After Divorce, the show for the brother who is rebuilding, the man who refuses to let the worst season of his life have the final word. I'm Reverend Jerome.

speaker-0: And I'm Carlton and brother, this one's a little different. Today we're not just opening another topic. We're standing on a hilltop for a minute and looking back at the ground we've covered together. Because

speaker-1: Let's think about it. We've sat in the angry nobody gave you permission to feel. We've talked about fathering your kids from a distance, from the every other weekend gap. We've wrestled with who you even are, especially after the word husband is gone. We walked through forgiveness, the real kind, the kind that hurts, the kind that gets you off the hook, and we name the loneliness that hits the At nine o'clock in the quiet hours.

speaker-0: That's heavy ground, that's a lot of stuff. And the man that's walked it with us, the man who's still pressing in, he's not the same man he was when we started. You've been getting rooted, and today is about what comes next. Rising.

speaker-1: So here's where we're going today. We want to talk about the man your kids are watching, the legacy you're building right now, in real time, whether you realize it or not, because the divorce is not the story. How you rise is the story.

speaker-0: And I'm gonna be honest with you up front. We got something to share with you before we close out today. Something about where this show is headed next. So stay with us all the way to the end. You're going to want to hear it.

speaker-1: But before we go any further, if this show has been a lifeline for you, do us one quick thing. Like this episode and subscribe wherever you're listening. It's how more brothers can find us.

speaker-0: Amen. Before we get into it, quick word brother. Here's the thing.

speaker-1: thing about the season you're in. The fight doesn't keep to a schedule. It hits on a Tuesday afternoon. It hits at midnight. And we don't want you to feel like you're waiting for the next episode to hit to feel like somebody's in your corner.

speaker-0: So if you haven't yet, get our new newsletter that's coming out. It's free. It takes 10 seconds and it drops a word of encouragement. Go to rootingchristmen.org and sign up. A scripture or something to chew on right in your inbox between episodes. And this matters right now because why we're on Sabattle in July, that newsletter is how we stay with you. Don't go the month without.

speaker-1: And remember, every episode of this show is available on all the major channels. Spotify, Apple, Amazon, iHeart, Pandora, YouTube, you name it, wherever you're listening, we're there. So here there's no excuse for the brother who hasn't found us yet.

speaker-0: Which means this. If this if these conversations have meant something to you, pass them along. You know a man who's walking through it right now and thinks he's the only one. Send him an episode. That one text could be the thing that reminds him he's not alone. So let's start here, brother.

speaker-1: Alright, let's get into it.

speaker-0: Right now, whether you've thought about it or not, your kids are writing a story about their father, especially since Father's Day's just passed, and you may or may not have seen or heard from. Not the story of the divorce. They're too young or too close to know all of that. The story they're writing is about you. How you carry it, whether you show up, whether you're steady or your business.

speaker-1: And here's what gets me. They're not writing it from your big speeches. They're writing it from the small stuff. The tone in your voice at the handoff. Whether you put the phone down when they're talking, whether you fall apart, or whether you keep getting backup. Years from now, they won't remember the court dates. They'll remember the kind of man you were while you were walking through them.

speaker-0: So the question isn't whether they're watching. They are. The question is what are they seeing?

speaker-1: So true, so true, so true. And I think a lot of us, brother, if we're honest, we've set the bar just as survival. Just get through the week. Just keep the lights on. Keep the kids fed. Keep my car working. Keep my head above water. But listen, there's no shame in survival season. Sometimes that's all you've got. But the good news is God will meet you. Right there where you are.

speaker-0: Survival was never God's ceiling for you. His heart isn't just to get you through, it's to make you whole. In Joel, he says it plainly. I will restore the years the locusts have eaten. The years you feel like you lost, he's in the business of giving them back. And in Isaiah, he promises the beauty for ashes. He takes the burned down places and grows something new out of the ground.

speaker-1: When you get a chance, look at the book of Joel, look at the book of Isaiah, and find these stories for yourself. And here's why that matters for your kids. A surviving father and a restored father look different across a dinner table. Your children don't just need you alive, they need you whole. Restoration isn't a luxury, it's an inheritance you're building for them.

speaker-0: We close every episode the same way. Our tagline, divorce is not you. And I want to slow down on that today because this is where it gets real. Your kids are going to absorb whether you actually believe that line or not.

speaker-1: That's right. If you carry this thing like a label, like shame stamped on your chest, they'll learn that a setback defines a man. But if you carry it like a chapter, not the whole book, they'll learn something far more valuable, far more powerful that when life breaks a man down, God builds that man back up. Joshua heard it before he ever crossed into the promised land. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. You model that brother. You live it out loud, and your kids inherit a courage you had to fight for.

speaker-0: You're not just rebuilding for you. You're showing a son how a man rises. You're showing a daughter what steadiness looks like. That's legacy. That's deep. Yeah.

speaker-1: Yes. So let's get practical before we go. Because vision without a next step is just a feeling. We're not asking you to fix your whole life today. Restoration is a direction. And it doesn't come in a single day.

speaker-0: Like a marathon. So pick one thing in each of your four areas and take it one step. Spiritually, what's one rhythm you can rebuild? Maybe it's five minutes in the word before the phone. As a father, that's one way. You show up more present this the month. Your health, one habit that says I'm worth taken care of, and community. And you know where we're going with that one.

speaker-1: One step in each. Not perfection, direction. Because a year from now, brother, you could be standing on ground you can't even imagine from where you're sitting today. That's the man your kids are watching become.

speaker-0: Before we close out today, brother, we need to talk to you straight for a minute, because there's something changing and we don't want you to hear about it secondhand.

speaker-1: That's right. For the month of July, rooted in Christ is going on sabbatical. New episodes come back in August, and I want to be careful with that word sabbatical, because we didn't say vacation. We didn't say we ran out of things to say. We said sabbatical.

speaker-0: And here's why that matters for you specifically. Think about what you've been building these last few months. We sat in anger, we talked about fathering from a distance, we wrestled with who even who you even are when the husband is gone. That's heavy ground to walk. And the whole time the thing we keep telling you is you cannot rebuild on empty.

speaker-1: So we be hypocrites to grind ourselves into the ground proving it. God rested, not because God was tired, but to show us rest is good. God told the people to let the field lie follow for a season so it could come back stronger and richer the next season. Even Jesus, when the crowds were thickest, pulled his men away and said, Come with me and rest awhile. If the Lord built a rhythm of rest into the work, who are we to skip it?

speaker-0: So we're taking July to rest, to sharpen, to come back stronger, and we're inviting you to do the same, which brings us to the assignment for the month.

speaker-1: Find your three men. Three brothers you can be honest with. Not three perfect men, three real men. Reach out to one of them this week. And when we come back in August, the first thing we're going to do is ask you, did you do it? Going to ask you how'd it go? We're holding you to it because we're holding ourselves to it.

speaker-0: Now don't think we're disappearing on you. We'll drop a check-in mid-July, a few clips, a word here and there, and of course our newsletter. You're not going to be feel dropped. And here's the other thing. August is isn't just more episodes. We're coming back with a brand new season. Recalling it from the wreckage to the rise. Really like that.

speaker-1: Yeah and we're opening it by naming the thing nobody gave you permission to feel the anger We're going there first, so you don't want to miss this return.

speaker-0: Turn. One more ask, and this one's important. August is partly yours. Send us the questions you're carrying. Something you want to discuss. Tell us what you're walking through right now. We want to build this next season around the real fights you're having. So write to us. We're listening even while we're resting.

speaker-1: And so like the episode, subscribe wherever you're hearing this, and tell another brother, someone who needs to know he's not alone in July.

speaker-0: We'll see you in August. Until then, rest in July. Rise in August. And brother, don't you ever forget, stay rooted, rise strong, divorce is not you.

speaker-1: This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. The hosts and guests are not licensed professionals, and content is not legal, financial, or mental health advice. Seek qualified experts for personal guidance. Views expressed are those of the host and guest, not affiliated organization.