The Pressure Cooker Effect

Rooted Men: If you're listening and your gauge is in the red too, you need to know you aren't alone in that kitchen. We're here to help you vent that pressure before it levels your life. Thanks for tuning into Rooted in Christ, Men After Divorce. Divorce really gets talked about in the church, but we open up the conversation for Christian men seeking healing, strength, and a renewed walk with God. Each episode we focus on spiritual life, mental health, emotional recovery, physical wellness, financial stability, and your future. Stay rooted, rise strong, divorce isn't you. Welcome back to Rooting Christ, Men After Divorce. I'm Carlton. I'm sitting with my good friend and brother, Reverend Jerome. And Jerome, I feel like I'm wearing a suit made of lead today. I'm tense. I'm short with people. And honestly, I'm one minor inconvenience away from a total meltdown. I can see it in your jaw, brother. You're clamping. Most men do this post-divorce. We call this episode the pressure cooker for a reason. You got all this heat, this rage, this anger, portrayal, injustice, all of this stuff. And you put a lid on it thinking that's what being a man looks like. Right. Because if I let it out, I'm unstable. I'm not a Christian. If I talk about it, I'm complaining. So I keep the lid on tight. But man, the gauge is in the red. I can hear the whistling in my ears and I can feel the tension in my body. And there's the danger. A pressure cooker with a blocked valve isn't a kitchen tool. It's a bomb and it's ready to go off. Silence isn't strength Carlton. It's just delayed destruction. If you don't learn how to vent that steam you're gonna blow and you'll usually blow on the people you love the most like your kids or yourself. Okay. Man, if you're listening and your gauge is in the red too, you need to know you aren't alone in that kitchen. We're here to help you vent that pressure before it levels your life. That's right. Now do us a favor, like, comment, come on, tell us what you think and share this episode right now. I mean, you can share it later, but share it right now. There's a man in your phone contacts who is about to blow his stack. And he needs to hear this. dropping these sessions bi-weekly on all major platforms, but the real daily work happens in our brotherhood. Get over to RootedInChristMen.org. Don't sit in the heat by yourself. Join the community at RootedInChristMen.org. Back to the cotton. Why are we so afraid to take the lid off? It's nice guy complex. If you are a Christian, you wouldn't be angry. Jerome, we're told to be the bigger person in the divorce. Don't s- Exactly. And spiritually, that silence creates a wall between you and God. You think you're being holy, but not by not being angry. But God can't heal a version of you that doesn't exist. If you're angry, Be angry. Even the Bible says, be angry and do not sin. It doesn't say, don't be angry. I missed that Sunday school lesson. I thought I was supposed to just turn the other cheek until my neck snapped. No, sir. Turning the other cheek is about dignity. It's not about being a doormat. When you stay silent about your pain, you give that pain power over you. You become a prisoner. to the simmer. This is the simmer. Prisoner of the simmer. Okay. Simmer instead of center. I like that. So how do we vent the steam without destroying the house? You weaponize it. You take that energy and you put it towards a mission. Think of it like a steam engine. That same pressure that can blow a house down can also move a thousand ton train if it's channeled through the right pipes. Weaponize the rage. I like that. So instead of internalizing, why did she do this? I can turn it into how fast can I run or how hard can I work? Precisely. You need two pipes for that steam. The physical pipe, you have to move. You have to maybe lift some weights, run, hug, do a mini or half marathon, hit that bag, boom, boom, boom, boom. You have to physically burn the adrenaline that your anger is producing. And then two, the spiritual pipe. You need gutter prayers. What are gutter prayers? That's when you get on your face and tell God all about your problems. Tell God exactly how much this hurts. and how much you hate it God can handle your heat God can handle your pain God can handle your frustration God can handle your anger Carlton God's not the one who made the fire He is the one who made the fire you know it's just ⁓ who brought the match. That's the shift. The pressure doesn't go away, but it starts moving the train forward instead of just shaking the floorboards. You're right. And if you're in the pressure cooker today, stop trying to hold the lid down with your hands. You're only going to burn your palms. that steam, get to the gym, then get to the altar or vice versa. It doesn't matter which, but get that steam out and get. into the brotherhood. Man, I feel the weight lifting already. It's about focus, not just frustration. Thanks for riding with us today. Catch us bi-weekly and don't forget to get plugged in at Rooting in Christ, Men After Divorce. Because you're more than your past. You're more than your pain and you're definitely more. Jerome, tell them what they need to do. Remember. Stay rooted. Ride strong. Divorce is not you. Peace be with you, my brothers. Until next time. Thank you for coming into Rooting in Christ, many after divorce. This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. The hosts and guests are not licensed professionals and content is not legal, financial or mental health advice. Seek qualified experts for personal guidance. Views expressed are those of the host and guest, not affiliated organization.